Life in the Fast Lane
by izzchizz
Summary: We all know Rapunzel returned to her rightful place as Princess of Corona and lived happily ever after. But the time between her return and happily ever after was not exactly a walk in the park. Especially not in Eugene Fitzherbert's eyes.


A/N: Helloo, it's been a while, but I'm in the mood to write some fanfiction, so get pumped. Thought I'd cook up a fresh Tangled fic because I just love that movie! Anyway, although it's doubtful I'll actually go through with it (I'm so very lazy) I might make this a multi-chapter. The first chapter will be mostly just fluffy stuff, but we might get more serious later on... if there is a later. Now lets all go have some fun, shall we?

**Disclaimer: **I am not a movie director and I don't own anything. But let's just enjoy ourselves and not get too _tangled_ up in the details. Haha, I'm so punny... sigh.

**Chapter One: You're Stuck Now**

His first few hours in the castle were well... hectic, to say the least.

Not that he was complaining at all; it wasn't like the King and Queen _had_ to offer him the giant room he now stood in. It was certainly a warmer welcome than he'd ever had anywhere else, but he wasn't exactly equipped for castle-life. Most of his life he'd been trying to break into this monster of a building, not get invited through the front door. And it wasn't like his couple of years in the orphanage had prepared him for all the technicalities of interacting with royalty. He would take what he could get though.

Eugene didn't know what he was expecting when the two leaders of Corona had first suggested his staying in the castle, but it certainly wasn't _this. _No, he hadn't been expecting the group of men that practically broke into his room just moments after he had finally escaped the chaos. They weren't exactly an intimidating bunch, at least not in the way Hook Hand and his gang were, but they came bearing... weapons.

It had started shortly after the reunion of the royal family, and for a moment Eugene had felt like he was part of something. He wasn't pulled into that hug out formality, that was for sure. But it had ended quickly, because finding the lost Princess after eighteen years of despair was apparently a big deal. While the King and Queen fawned over their newly returned daughter and asked eagerly for her story, the kingdom officials began planning. And let me tell you, Eugene would never have known what devious little bastards those men were if he hadn't fallen head over heals for that adorable Princess of theirs.

Before long, an extravagant announcement of the Princess' return to the kingdom had been devised, and everyone except Eugene seemed to be on board. To begin, they would blast the royal horns at sunset all throughout the village until the attention of every person, animal and insect was on the royal family standing on their balcony in the grand castle. Then the King and Queen would say with all the love and happiness as if she had never left, that their beloved Princess Rapunzel had returned home to them at last.

Sure, fine. This was all great. All the way up until Eugene was dragged into it. Of course, everyone in the kingdom would want to know why, after eighteen years, _now_ the Princess returned. And this was where he came in. In front of all the people he had stolen from, all the people he had tricked and swindled and out-witted, the King and Queen would announce that he, Eugene Fitzherbert had rescued the damsel from imprisonment and gallantly brought her back to where she belonged. If it wasn't already, his reputation would surely be ruined then.

Last of all came the worst. There was to be a party. A whole week of parties to be exact. Don't get him wrong, Eugene loved a good party. The drinking, the dancing, the loud music that filled people with energy and spirit. But the Corona officials were not thinking of that kind of party; they had their twisted, fun-hating hearts set on a formal ball. That meant making small talk with dignitaries, wearing stuffy clothing, and drinking teeny tiny glasses of useless wine. As the savior of the Princess, the King and Queen absolutely insisted that he be there for all of it.

At first he had protested, arguing that he had really only played a minor role in the discovery of Rapunzel's identity, and that the true hero of this story was in fact the Princess herself. His resolve didn't last very long though, because the look of absolute disappointment and sadness in those big green eyes when he said he would not attend Rapunzel's first ever ball was only slightly less painful than the knife Gothel had stuck in his gut. Before he knew it he was saying something about how maybe, just maybe he did deserve to be at her week-long party; he had saved her life after all. Quick as flash, before he had even finished the sentence, Rapunzel was embracing him with all her might. Squealing like a little girl, she held onto him like a barnacle to a rock and he wrapped his arms around her in return. Maybe the long, drawn out boredom of the party would be worth it after all, if only for this.

What happened next was a bit of a blur for both Eugene and Rapunzel. The King and Queen's excited talk was overlapped by the officials explanation about how this would hypothetically work. What was proper to say, how to enter a room, who would be attending, how many times they would have to change puffy outfits. All this was relayed as they were bustled through the halls of the castle, servants rushing about and pinning flowers and banners on the walls as they walked.

He was trying to zone out the annoying voice of the official next to him so he could watch the wonder on Rapunzel's face as they turned each corner, when everything came to a sudden stop.

All he got was "This is your room. Be ready by seven o'clock," before he was shoved through a door and left behind.

Eugene stood for a moment, staring at the closed door. He had to think over those nine words at least three times before he actually processed what they meant and turned around to stare at something else. His room?

Before him was probably the biggest bedroom he had ever seen in his entire life... unless you count the giant hall of cots in the orphanage. The enormous four poster bed was placed in the centre of the far wall, next to the huge set of French doors that led to the... balcony? He had a balcony in his room? Aside from this, there was one bureau opposite the bed, leaving the middle completely open with nothing but a rug to fill it up. What a waste of space.

At last he was able to tear his thoughts away from all the over-sized things in this castle and close his slack jaw. He moved to the bed and its perfect gold and purple sheets, and flopped down quite ungracefully. Eugene had to admit that all the excitement had made him tired, and a quick cat nap seemed like a good idea; besides he had a while before he had to be ready for the big announcement. He lay spread eagle and closed his eyes. The room was only still for about ten seconds before there was a loud bang on the elaborate door. He opened one eye and frowned in its direction as another loud bang came from the hall.

"Who is it?" He asked, trying to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"The royal dressers. Now open up!" Came the small nasally voice of a man.

"The royal what now?" Eugene said, now opening both eyes and lifting his head to glare at the offending door.

That was a mistake. He didn't think he had been too impolite, but obviously the royal dresser man did, because what happened next involved something Eugene had thought only thieves like himself did. They broke in. He supposed he hadn't locked the door when he entered, so it wasn't really breaking in. But it sure did feel like it when they suddenly burst through his door with malicious looks on their pampered faces. Yes, this group of three men who carried baskets and sacks of who knew what torturous weapons in them, had just entered his room completely unwelcome. That had to count as breaking and entering.

Eugene's eyes flicked suspiciously to each of the men as he rose from the bed and took on a mildly defensive stance. The smallest man who seemed to be the only one not bearing arms, stepped forward as the other two began hustling about his room.

"I am Sir Cornwallis, third dresser to the royal family. These are my assistants Mr Dilston and Mr Falk." Now that he had seen the man in person, Eugene could place the nasally voice he heard outside his door with a face. Not a very pleasant one at that, but at least he knew his enemy. Eugene might have laughed at the man's size, or voice, or name if he hadn't felt so threatened by his presence at this moment. The thin shrewd smile he gave Eugene before speaking again only intensified this feeling. "I have orders from the High Officials of their Majesty's to prepare a Mr Eugene Fitzherbert for the royal welcoming ball of Princess Rapunzel." He said all this as if he were reciting an instructions manual on how to be a prick.

Eugene had to get back at this man for invading his room some how so he responded by saying, "yeah, well I'm afraid you've got the wrong room then Corny, 'cause this one belongs to a Flynn Rider."

For a moment the man's lip curled up in scorn, but it returned to its cold polite demeanour before he continued on as if he hadn't heard the snide remark. "We will require full cooperation in this process, so I would suggest you leave behind your boorish behaviour before we begin... Mr Fitzherbert."

Eugene would have snarled something right back at this insolent little man, but apparently those words were a cue for the two other men because then he was being grabbed by each arm and led roughly towards what looked to a small work station that they had set up. It included a mirror and dressing screen, along with other objects of beautification.

"Oh no you don't!" Eugene said, digging in his heals and shaking his head. But the two assistants were stronger than they looked and managed to plant him in the chair in front of the mirror.

"I said full cooperation Mr Fitzherbert." Corny tsked as if talking to a small child who had done something naughty. "Now, we will begin by dealing with that unruly hair of yours. Boys, if you will." He gestured to the large pair of silver scissors in one of the baskets.

Eugene ran a hand through his hair nervously as Mr Falk picked up the clippers and began testing them with snips to the air. "I think my hair is quite alright the way it is. In fact, I just got it cut a while back, so you needn't trouble yourself with cutting it. " He leaned back in his chair, trying best not to look scared as the silver glint of the scissors inched closer to his head.

"Don't you worry Mr Fitherbert, I promise Mr Falk won't take too much off." But this was no consolation to Eugene.

He figured, he got himself into this mess, and all could do was wait and hope that these men didn't ruin his devilishly handsome good looks beyond repair. So he squeezed his eyes shut, and waited as Mr Faulk snipped around his head, and his beautiful hair fell in bits to the floor. Surprisingly enough, when he finally opened his eyes and looked in the mirror, his hair didn't look half bad. It was a tad shorter, and maybe smoothed back too much, but nothing that a little roughing up couldn't fix. For a moment, he flashed one of his Flynn Rider smiles at his reflection, then Corny started talking again.

"Now, shall you help choose your attire for tonight's festivities, or do we need to do that forcibly as well?"

Eugene growled, but rose obediently from his chair. He spread his arms to each side and said tightly, "Alright, what do I do?"

Sir Corntwat smiled again and snapped his fingers, activating Mr Dilston, who picked up a bundle of feathery colourful clothing. "Strip," he commanded, and waved his manicured hand at the screen.

For the next half hour the royal dressers shoved Eugene into more itchy and uncomfortable clothes than he could count, until finally they settled on an outfit. A pair of dark black pants that were tighter and more restricting than Eugene would have liked, but not nearly as bad some of the other options. On top he wore a high-collared navy blue shirt with gold stitching on the sleeve cuffs, and a white vest and shirttails. To bring it all together he wore high black and gold boots and a black belt with a gold clasp. They had tried to shove him in huge floppy blue hat with one of those giant feathers sticking out of it, but he had threatened to rip it to shreds so Corny let it slide.

So here he stood; in front of a gold-rimmed mirror in this dreadful castle, as Mr Falk and Mr Dislton brushed off his shoulders for the sixth time. He felt stiff and way too clean, but at this point he had really missed the boat for ditching this whole shebang.

Corny grinned at him and said proudly, "Now, Mr Fitzherbert don't you think you look much more like the savior of our Princess in such proper attire?"

He glared daggers at the small man he had begun to despise and responded with, "You're right Corny, I look so much like a pompous ninny, I could almost be mistaken for you. But then again, no one can reach your level of pretentiousness... good Sir." He flashed a smile and winked, revelling in his artful comeback.

Cornwallis opened his mouth to say something in return, when a small knock came at the door. He turned and then began moving to answer it, but Eugene shoved past him and opened the door as cordially as he could. He was met by a short plump lady with a servant's uniform and greying hair squinting up at him suspiciously.

"Umm, can I help you ma'am?" He offered, opening the door wider and standing as straight as he could.

"Yes. Yes you can. If you weren't aware, it is half past six and her majesty the Princess Rapunzel is quite anxious about you being late. I would suggest, boy, that you march yourself down to the throne room as soon as possible. And you better be on your best behaviour for the King and Queen." She gave him the stink eye and without waiting for his response, turned on her heel and strode back down the corridor, hands clasped in front of her.

Eugene turned back to his room, a bit stunned and offended by the amount of disdain he was getting from all the people in this castle. He sighed, accepting the inevitable and looked at Cornwallis. "Well, this is it Corny. Parting is such sweet sorrow." He stuck out his hand and gave a little pout. Better to get his trickery out sooner rather than later, and at least this offered him a bit of fun before he had to take the icy plunge into manners and etiquette. When Corny didn't shake back, Eugene grinned and dropped his hand then turned to the other two devils. Putting on his sad face again he said, "Mr Falk. Mr Dilston. Such a pleasure." Then he gestured to the open door. "You are dismissed." Ah, did that feel good.

The two assistants picked up their baskets and exited through the door, but Corny paused before leaving and pointed a finger at Eugene's nose. "I'll be seeing you in the future, Mr Fitzherbert," he snarled before following his assistants.

"I'm looking forward to it Corny!" Eugene called after them.

Then it was quiet again. And the clock was ticking. Soon it would be seven o'clock, and after that there would be no chance of escaping; at least not for another week. He walked alone down the halls that had been busy with action before, but were dead silent now. He reached the huge set of double doors that led to the throne room, and ran a hand through his hair one last time. His hands grasped the gold handles, and he pushed.


End file.
